They say it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to overcome depression.
To all my ex-bosses, kind colleagues, family, friends, counsellors and random strangers who came in the form of angels who encouraged and believed in me (even when I couldn’t believe the light within myself to get up again), thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart.
It wasn’t the jobs condition or situation was bad that made me leave my previous jobs but it was a existence question struggle I was asking myself daily what do I want to do with my life now from recovering phase one of being catatonic (which is a severe depression state where my doctor told me in layman terms that “it’s like my brain was away on a long vacation”). It was an extremely hard period for me as I was in a disheveled state as I could not move, eat, sleep, bathe, or even groom myself as I was very much unaware of myself and the surroundings around me (due to the ‘brain being parked away’ situation).
When I started having movement in my limbs again, gradually with the help of medication. My neighbour started asking me accompany her for Zumba lessons and I remember I would tear when the music start playing and I could actually move my limbs. It felt like a miracle that these feelings actually still exist even after the 4-6 months of existing in what I felt was an empty void.
So fast forward many years since I had catatonia depression in 2012 till now, while the journey has been long and arduous (with some memories I rather forget, sometimes), I’m really thankful for a current stint in my life where I am now able to experience positive feelings daily (mostly!) and live happy to the best I can with my little craft business, Sunshine & Love -(www.facebook.com/sunshinenlove
www.instagram.com/sunshinenlove_sg) I may not be making mega million dollars, but I’m thankful for the daily treasures of simple joy, laughter, love, family, meaningful friendships which has made me rich beyond measures.
If you’re someone who’s going through depression, I just wanna say don’t give up. Those layers of scum and gunk will slowly erode away as we take positive steps to allow our hearts, mind and soul to daily heal. It’s okay. xx
P.S. As I usually have to plan, draw and paint for my Sunshine & Love work, I decided to take time out during the recent weekend to just paint and write without an outcome in mind. This watercolour postcard painting is entitled:
//When the wind blows//
The gentle breeze blowing away the tension of the day,
can the mind wonder,
can my soul sing?
To the clouds we go, faraway
shining above the earthly troubles